Well it has been quite a while since I blogged last. Around two months I believe.
I will try to be a little more consistent in this from this point on.
I suppose I will start my blog life back up with a story.
One of the most precious moments I have witnessed in my short little life took place during Christmas morning. The LaGue family was trapped in our house due to the literal blizzard the night before, and we were taking our time enjoying each other and opening our presents. These were sweet moments.
Now, I would like to think that we LaGues are a happy bunch. I think we are. I feel as if I was placed in the most wonderful family on this colorful globe. But life is messy and it is messy a lot.
Through this past year, we have been tried. We have gone through some tough stuff. We have seen tremendous suffering among those we love. As mentioned in the previous post, nasty realities disclosed their heads that I had never seen before. Now, we are very blessed. I am not saying we had the hardest time of anyone in KC, because we didn't. This year was filled with the evidence of God's amazing love.
But it was still hard.
But in spite of all of the failure that happens in this world, on this beautiful Christmas morning we had a time where all the kids presented gifts to the parents. Each of us had written them a letter. My mom and dad read them out loud and we cried. We saw a small yet overwhelming picture of God's love. Something about that moment was very thick. In a good way. It was a culmination of sorts. All the pain and perseverance of the past year seemed to collide with the reality of God's faithfulness. I sat there and was floored at how precious those people were to me. I love them so much. From my view, we all felt that way. We got a glimpse of God's love.
For reasons I can't explain on this lame little blog, that moment was full of beauty. Real beauty.
And the tears were brought on by love.
Love.
Love is hard. It is full of sacrifice and extremely risky. We willingly invest love in people and they invest love in us, but how brave we are!
These people can be gone in a moment. They can die. They can change. They can reveal that they are not who you thought they were when you gave them your precious love. They can use you, and abuse you. They can simply not return the love. You can love things and they wear out.
In a world where all we see is dying, we stubbornly love the stuff we see.
Love is absurdly risky.
But it is what we are fueled by. It is what we were made for. Without love we will die. Babies need to be held, and loved, or they have an extremely small chance of reaching childhood alive. We need role models to look up to. Me and my young-adult friends are beginning to join the frenzy of people who are desperate to find someone to commit the rest of their lives to. We CRY OUT for this love. we need it. People will do anything for it.
A friend of mine and I were talking a guy in Barnes and Noble last night who didn't know what he believed in at ALL. He was reading up on every religion he could. He was a seeker. He asked a lot of questions and so did we. Both sides listened to the other very well. It was a great philosophical discussion. But the end of the conversation revealed something unexpected to me.
"Are you looking for truth? Do you believe that there is one truth or do you believe there can be many truths?" We asked.
"Well...actually, I don't believe in truth at all. I am not looking for truth. I am looking for love."
He didn't say it cheezily or with a sappy tone. It was really want he was looking for. It was deep.
I can see this young man's cry all over the world. On the news. In the movies. In my friends. and in my own heart. We are dying to get love. We need it.
But we have no idea what it is. We have perverted love to make it something about us. That is not love. That is the opposite of love: Pride. We are told to follow our heart. And this seems right and feels good, but it only leads to a mindset of survival of the fittest. This leads to death and love is lost. We are too stupid to pick up love like we so often do. Like a toddler with power tools, we have no idea what we are doing. We are bound to get hurt.
Love. I made it mine. I made it small. I made it blind.
I followed hard only to find it wasn't love.
Love of songs and pen. Love of movie endings.
Takes out the break. Leaves out the bend. Misses love.
Love not of you. Love not of me. Come pick us up, come set us free.
Not as we know it, but as it can be.
Love.
-Sara Groves
I don't claim to have this down. I don't. I do claim to want to want this. And in a very cold Kansas City home, on Christmas day, in that toasty room laden with wrapping paper and ribbon and kids in African pajamas (a whole different story), I swear I saw God's love. In a world where all is perverted and everything will fail, lets not be stupid and try to grab what we see and claim it is love. God is love. We MUST turn to Him. He has loved us with an EVERLASTING LOVE.
I have to put these praises from of old up here.
I hope this is seen as a statement that I have seen a small glimpse of His love. It convicts me. It inspires me. Lets cling to Him. Let's abide with Him. He loves us and wants to be our home.
Psalm 32:10 (English Standard Version)
10(A) Many are the sorrows of the wicked,
but steadfast love surrounds the one who(B) trusts in the LORD.
Psalm 36:5 (English Standard Version)
5Your steadfast love, O LORD, extends to the heavens,
your faithfulness to the clouds.
Psalm 63:3 (English Standard Version)
3Because your(A) steadfast love is better than life,
my lips will praise you.
Psalm 115:1 (English Standard Version)
1(A) Not to us, O LORD, not to us, but to your name give glory,
(B) for the sake of your steadfast love and your faithfulness!
Jesus IS the bread of life.
His Spirit IS our counselor
